Friday Sermon

Lucas Testament - From a Galaxy Long Ago and Far, Far Away

In the beginning, there was a force. It flows through things and binds things together. Those born with the light in their blood can channel this life giving force and wield great power over galaxies and armies.

The battle for this power has waged for millennia and proud knights have defended chastity, temperance, abstinence, patience, diligence, humility and kindness against dark forces powered by lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, and failure to love this Godly force of creation. Wrath, anger and hatred lead to transgressions such as desire to seek revenge, abject violence and refusal to forgive. Envy or jealousy is the act of coveting something admirable which belongs to another person, which the dark side code is based upon: “There are always and only two: master and pupil”. Pride is the sin which led the Chosen One to fall from the light side of the force.

Chapter 1: The Chosen One vs. The Horned One - Sky Being, Bloodline of Kings Begin

In the beginning, there was balance. Light kept dark at bay and the sins of the dark were kept in the dark castles of old and devious beings. These evil ones kept the dark knowledge of the fallen saints which allowed for unnaturally long and disturbed lives. Driven by the worst desires of beings around the universe, the lord of the dark side and their second in command quietly plotted against the powerful and all-encompassing wielder’s of light.

Then a whisper shook the knights temple. “The Chosen One” may have returned; a being of the the Sky clan that could potentially wipe out the darkness. All believed this exciting news except one. The one quietly thought and meditated with the light but no answers could be seen. For even at that point the dark webs of the evil ones had clouded the vision of even the purest of institutions of temples of the light around the universe.

“The prophecy, misread may have been” urged the eldest of the knights and yet they proceeded to give more and more power to the new prophet that all the rest of the knights vowed would bring balance to the universe and the end to the oppressive ways of the dark side.

The Chosen One was born in a desert town to a father-less slave. For the force delivered the Chosen One to mother of the Sky with no carnal conception. And from the beginning the mother Smi noticed differences from the plethora of alien children in the village of gangsters, slave-owners, bankers and merchants. Heightened reflexes of the Chosen One were immediately beneficial and allowed these slaves to move up a feudal class from street beggar’s to gainfully employed and housed.

Mini-miracles such as inhuman deeds of reflex and predicting the future showed holy mother Smi the greatness of the gift she was given. Then life changed for the slaves as two wise men and a princess brought gifts of golden robot coverings and kyber crystal wands, flying ships made of exotic metals.

And as these powerful beings arrogantly strolled into the slave village brandishing freshly minted federal republic credit ingots, they brought with them the greed, envy and lust for power as the antithesis of the light. For Lord Maul of the underground planet of powerful witches has been plotting. His horns growing in the darkness as the hatred in his heart is flamed by a silent and more deadly voice in his head. For the greatest trick that Lord Maul’s master performed was hiding his own existence as the puppet-master.

Prophecy misread, may be, indeed. The balance of knightly power gets chopped in half by one swing of the kyber crystal wand wielded by great Maul. And the Chosen One has his path forever altered to the darker path. Dark strings and plans of the true master in the dark tighten their silent and soon-to-be revealed plans of corruption.

Chapter 2: The Secret Alliance - New Life Created as Minions

As the proud and arrogant knights uphold their ancient rituals and force their meditative practices upon more and more galaxies without midi-chlorian parasites in their blood, more and systems join a more sinister temple of darkness: the trade alliance. Like the fall of another babylon in a galaxy far-far away, secret alliances broke down the holy knight’s alliance by blockading food supplies and crippling planets to the brink of starvation.

Believing they were doing the will of the force, the great knights prepared for battle, including contemplating the unthinkable atrocity of using an unholy lab-created mutant soldier with no soul except that to blindly serve their master. Those holding the key to this mindless horde of clone slaves would rule the galaxy. They took this unthinkable horde and gave command of it to the Chosen One, who even at a very young age, had mastered the art of murder and force wielding for war and lust.

Sending the Chosen One off like a Spartan ripped from his mother’s arms, the Sky being racked up murder after murder in the name of peace and prosperity across the universe. But night brings nightmares for the heavy side of the force, and the Chosen One saw horrific visions of suffering and death only, unable to rest or meditate but then required to murder for democracy every morning.

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, and even the Chosen One began to revel at the proficiency of murder and mind-control he could wield over weaker-minded slaves and animals. Slaughtering an entire village of sentient beings even seemed justifiable. Rage, anger and revenge finally overtook the Chosen One and only the whore of The Senate, Padme, silently saw the hidden truths.

Chapter 3: Second Fall of Babylon - Jedi Temples Burn on Coruscant

Pride blinded the keeper’s of the light. Hubris allowed for the genocide of an entire blood race of first born. Like the vengeful God of the Israelites, the mighty sith used their stolen minions of war to execute order 66 and in one slice of the guillotine the light was extinguished. Darkness fell for a generation under the land and the Chosen One transformed into “The Fallen One”. The gollum of the dark side, with an army of mindless minions, crushed the spirit of a universe and ushered in the destruction of freedoms. “That’s how democracy dies: to thunderous applaud” chortled the whore of senate.

“Once more the sith shall rule over the galaxy” and the lord of the dark side immediately implemented cruel and horrific rule of the galaxy including reintroduction of Prima Nocta - the process of spreading sith royal blood across the galaxy to root out the final blood lines of the Sky beings. But two remained, hidden from world.

Chapter 4: Birth of a New Hope - Sky Beings Return - New Testament

With the old testament of Lucas fulfilled and hellscape ruling the galaxy, hope seemed as far away as the distant memory of the knights of light that were extinguished decades previous. In the great religious purges of order 66, the New Republic burned and murdered all those with potential blood light parasites inside. The ethnic cleansing meant that all turned their back to the light lest they sow the whips of their dark masters. Like Dante’s 9th level of his Inferno, the liars, cheats, murderers, and worst of society ruled this new world. “Use the force” and “may the force be with you” were as lost as the sacred texts and teachings of the knights of the light.

But in his lust for power, the dark lord of the sith had not realized that the whore of the senate had conceived the last seeds of light in the galaxy. Hidden away on the very same planet that “The Chosen One” was immaculately conceived upon decades before. Forced to walk and live off the desert like Israelites escaping the oppression of Egyptian pharaohs.

Then Obiwan rebaptizes one of the new seeds of the Sky in the religion of the light and force. Ben the baptizer takes Luke - the new seed of hope and light - on an epic pilgrimage slowly converting citizens to this old but powerful religion of the knights of the force. AT first there is skepticism but Old Ben Obiwan remembers the power of the kyber and quickly cuts the limbs of doubters clean off to prove the power of the force.

“The force is with me and the I am the force” chants are heard in the markets. Blind beggars that remember the powerful and peaceful times of knight rule, long for the light to return. Stories and murmurs of a “New Chosen One” stir hope and plans are made to strike at the heart of the serpent of darkness. The Star of Death sky palace is the center for idyllic worship of the sith religion.

Driven by the dying words and haunted to “Use the force Luke”, the New Chosen One forgoes his peaceful life of bombing wamprats and licking moisture of power convertors, to plasma bombing an entire city in the sky, full of innocent workers of the republic; almost overnight. Yet another Being of the Sky has been utilized as a weapon of mass destruction and then celebrated for the extinguishing of millions of beings in the galaxy. A new hope omelet must scramble a few million eggs.

Chapter 5: Revenge of The Dark Side

“I am your father”. Prophetic words preluded upon by the visions in the cave, where the newest Chosen One cuts off his enemy’s head only to reveal himself. Sins of the father.

For the head of the dark side has permeated every area of society around the galaxy and universe. A social credit system of feudal slavery has been implemented and ruled upon for two decades when the new Chosen One decides to take revenge on the senseless murder of his final known next of kin. Again, revenge instead of love drives the new rise of the chosen being of Sky. This is not balance and the arrogance of the knight’s order allow and even encourage many of the seven deadly sins.

With only spies, mercenaries, spice runners and anarchists as his allies, the New Chosen One hides away his heart in the furthest and coldest sections of the galaxy, only driven out by wild beings and back into the world. Searching for great warrior knowledge, the New Chosen One met an unlikely and yet powerful ally: a monk in a marsh. Instead of chants of “War! War! War!” of previous prophets and knights, the Monk of the Marsh preached “Wars not make one great” and “Luminous beings are we...not this crude matter.”

Far from the false prophet messages he had heard before, the New Chosen One set out to conquer the clouds and save his doomed allies. While certain of the deadly sins were removed by Yoda the Marsh Monk, arrogance was still apparently a major piece of the missing dogma. “Do. Or do not. There is no try” implores Yoda before Luke of light’s battle with the dark lord. “Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side they are” and “Train yourself to let go of everything you are afraid to lose [as] fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering” are the gospels of Yoda that drive the new testament of Sky lord Luke.

Next Friday Sermon: Chapter 5 - Book 2 - New Disney Testament